We arrived at SWS and walked in with our two new friends. I asked if I was the only one who felt like I was going to throw up (I wasn't). I had met this special boy and knew that he didn't really have any desire to see us again, let alone leave with us. How could I do this? How could I take him from his foster family's arms and walk out the door (after the longest elevator ride of our lives)? Taking custody is not a magical day that people may imagine. It is heartbreaking, sad, scary (for the child and the adoptive parents), and difficult. The emotions are actually mostly negative despite the fact that you've spent years waiting for this day. The fact is your child has spent zero time looking forward to this day and he/she is completely unprepared (I am talking toddler adoption here, I don't have experience with older child adoption which is different).
Whenever I think of this day I mostly want to cry. But I also remember taking a walk with him in the park. It was emotional but a special time just the three of us. I remember how happy seeing "bahngs" (trucks - he uses it for all vehicles) made him. I remember him smiling at us as he was eating pastries from Paris Baguette (yum!). He clung to me even though he didn't really like me. Such a strange situation.
I am so thankful now that our sweet boy has been home for 9 months. He's a happy boy. We love each other! We have a relationship! I know what his cries mean, what is laugh is like, what he is saying (even when others don't since he's just recently 2). He is our son and we are his Ommy and Daddy (Daniel has renamed me Ommy recently - a mixture of Omma and Mommy). He is adventurous, social, out going, friendly. He still has some anxiousness that we hope will relax over time, and a bit more aggression the moment he gets frustrated, but he has come so far! What a blessing! We've seen progress each month and it's a joy to see him grow.
The first 3 months were HARD. Tears (from all of us), lack of sleep, trying to connect but often failing, just generally feeling not like ourselves. It was the hardest summer we've endured. But we made it through.
The next 3 months were a roller coaster. Lots of ups and downs, but the ups were starting to outweigh the downs.
6 months was a turning point! Daniel relaxed a lot around this time. We're so thankful since we traveled to see family for the first time not long after that. We continue to see progress, are praying for continued healing for our sweet boy, and rejoice that God has made us a family!